something old, something new...

There will come a time when I would be too old to wear a wedding gown. Hell, who am I kidding - I'm probably too old and too fat by now that trying to wear a sexy white wedding gown at my age would only make me look ludicrous.

Okay, so where is this coming from? I don't know. It's one of those random thoughts that breaks my heart I had to catch my breath when the realization hit me. I AM OLD. I have lines on my face that weren't  there 8 years ago, I have more white hair framing my face, and I'm so flabulous I'm curvy at all the wrong places. And a white wedding gown would not suit me anymore - unless it's also something frumpy and... yeah, ancient.

But here's the thing - what makes me think I'll ever wear a wedding gown again? Getting married is definitely NOT in the BH's agenda. As far as he's concerned, I'm already his wife so why complicate the relationship by getting married?

Again, I don't know. But with yet another wedding preparation going on, I'm getting these odd wedding thoughts again (I went through the same thing last year, amidst J & I's wedding preps). Wondering yet again if I'll ever experience how it is to be a real bride, to walk down that aisle with my heart bursting with so much love for my groom. Except that this time, there's an addendum to that thought - If I do get the chance to walk down that aisle with my heart bursting with so much love for my groom, would I  still look hot in my wedding gown?


***
And, to keep me from losing my perspective, here's my horoscope, courtesy of  Tarot.com:

Saturday, Jul 16th, 2011 -- Your life seems to be flowing along a bit easier now, even if the same issues are still nagging for resolution. Fortunately, you won't have to worry about them today, easing the tension sufficiently for you to enjoy the present moment. Just remember that your overactive imagination could carry you far away, distracting you from the happiness that is right under your nose. Open your eyes and be grateful for what you have.

Touche!